so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
