your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
