Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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