Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
