feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
