I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
