if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
