3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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