No awkward lesbian experiences without me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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