Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
