ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
