my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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