Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
