quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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