I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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