A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
