Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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