Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
