How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize