Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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