i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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