i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
