it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
