You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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