I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
