My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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