well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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