belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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