11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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