Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
