I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
