Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
