i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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