she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
