don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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