Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
