i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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