Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
