gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
