Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
