he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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