guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
