So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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