we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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