that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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