So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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