I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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