I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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