I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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