I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
