we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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