i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
nutella sex= disaster
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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