You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
