cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
