now i know why i became what i already was.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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