i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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