there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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