do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
