i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
be right there i have to get my cape
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
