i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize