Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
