Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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