The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
